The Merits of Abduction

by Kanaye

Thribbit shuddered as he and his sister walked through the airport.

"I don't know how these humans do it! Two of everything. Two eyes, two ears, two arms, but only one head!  We just landed and already I'm sick of these bodies. Look how slow we are walking. Only two legs! How do they get anything done?" He sighed and shook his head.

His sister scratched the neck of the human-suit she was wearing. "I don't know and I don't care. Why are we here again? These suits always manage to give me a rash in the worst places."

"Quiet Dazpani." Thribbit admonished. "Humans may only have two ears but they hear better than the sobilol at home do. We don't want any of them to suspect..."

 

"Me?" Dazpani glared at her brother. "You're the one complaining about only having one head. Why do we have to abduct a human anyway? Can't we go to Kanaya and abduduct a lutannae instead?" She itched her neck again.

 

"No. The mission called for a..." He stopped and nodded politely at a teenage girl who stared at them with wide eyes. He noticed a few other stares.

"We stand out. Are we too tall?" He glanced at Dazpatni, who was still glaring at him. 

Her human-suit was of a brown haired, blue eyed and very tall woman. He looked around the airport and noticed all of the women appeared at least four inches shorter than her, and most shorter than that. 

"I think 6'3" might be a bit tall for you." He glanced around and noticed a bathroom and pointed to it. "Quick, go in there and take off five or six inches. I will as well."

She went into the ladies room and he went into the men’s.

His own human-suit had the same coloring as his sister's though his suit was male and 6'5". He went into a stall and quickly pressed a button behind the suit's right knee.

"Remove four inches of height." he said softly, closed his eyes and waited. A few seconds later he heard a click and knew he had shrunk to a more proper 6'1".

 

 

"Cut!" The loud shout echoed.

Raine McGanter opened the bathroom stall and walked onto the set. "How was it? A good take? Was the lift smoother this time?" 

 

The past two takes, the lift that "shrunk him" had been choppy and the "shrinkage" wasn't smooth as it was supposed to be. This time he had felt no jerks as it had lowered him.

Jared Tompkins watched the moniter for a few minutes before nodding. "Good take! That’s a wrap for today! Be here tomorrow at four AM sharp, everyone!"

 

Raine sat in his chair and let his make-up artist, Elron gently clean off his face. "Your normal eye color is so much prettier than those contacts." Elron told him when the make-up was gone. He had told Raine this every day for the past three days, maybe hoping to be able to take out the blue contacts. Raine didn't like people touching his eyes. 

Raine smiled and, avoiding Elon's comment, looked around for Falia, his 'sister'. He spotted her walking towards her trailer. She had already taken off her make-up, the long brown wig and was now ruffling her own short blonde locks. 

"Falia!" he called to her and she stopped and waited for him. He thanked Elron and jogged to her.

"See, I knew you could do it." he said when he reached her. "An alien movie isnt that hard."

She smiled. "Ive told you twice, it is if you want it to be a good alien movie. Plenty of bad ones out there and if this one's a flop, I don’t want anyone blaming me." She scratched her neck. "The wig itches a bit. Don't you think?"

He grinned, leaned down and offered his head to her. "Mine's real. Pull. Go on. I dare you."

She laughed, obviously not believing him. She took a handful and tugged on it. When it didn't budge, she frowned and pulled harder. The third tug had him yelping.

 "Ow! I didn’t mean for you to try to take my scalp off." He rubbed his head.

"It's really real?" she put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. His hair went past his butt. She turned him back. "It's all real? Not even extensions?"

Raine shook his head. "Xander likes my hair long and I just kept growing it for him. Jared actually asked me to cut a foot of it off so it was the same length as your wig."

She plucked at her short locks again and then changed the subject. "Xander. How is he? I haven’t seen him since, oh..." she appeared to be thinking. "Christmas eve. You guys threw that party. I had such fun and Xander is so sweet. How did you nab him? You both avoided my questions at the party. Won't you tell me now?"

Raine looked surprised. "You don't know?"

"Should I know?" she countered.

"No, I guess not, it's just... I thought everyone knew."

"Knew what?"

"He's actually an alien and has come to take me to his planet."

She laughed and punched him in the arm.

"Don't beat up the actors, Falia. I need them." Jared said as he passed them on his way to his own trailer.

"Sorry, Jared." She blushed turned back to Raine. "Seriously. How did you meet him?"

He laughed and turned her towards the trailers. "Let me get these contacts out then I'll tell you."

She followed him into his trailer and sat at the table while he went into the bathroom. Raine's trailer wasn't any bigger than hers and she smiled in relief. He was the star of the movie. She was only in a supporting role, but she found Raine wasn't as haughty as some stars. He seemed nice and the fact that his trailer was...

"There that’s better." Raine came back to the kitchen and blinked deep green eyes at her, distracting her from her thoughts.

 

"I know I should let Elron take them out but I have a thing about my eyes. Overly sensitive or something."

He went to the coffee maker. "I sent my assistant to be with her daughter today, so I'm making the coffee. You want some?"

 

More proof he wasn't stuck up. What star made his own coffee?

 

"Sure. Then will you tell me how you and Xander met?" she propped her head in her hand, her elbow on the table.

He nodded and spoke while he filled the coffee machine. "I was serious, you know. About him being an alien."

She scoffed. Sure he was, and she was a lepracaun. He pressed ON before he sat down at the table.

"Seriously. I was at the Comic-con a few years back and I had this greenish-grey alien-guy hitting on me."

A greenish-grey alien? She wrinkled her nose at him and he laughed. "That wasn't him. Xander came to my rescue."

 

Rain deepend his voice and thrust his arm in the air as if he were dueling with an invisible foe. "He defended my virtue in a mighty duel!" 

Falia smiled, covered her mouth and raised an eyebrow at him. He lowered his arm, and nodded solemnly.

"Honest. Later, like an entire year later, I learned it was all planned."

 

Aww. That was sweet. "What was Xander's costume?"

Raine blushed. "Superman."

She blinked and then burst out laughing. "Please..." she continued to laugh but tried to get the words out. "Please... don't tell me... you.... fell for Superman!" A vision of Xander, dressed up in blue spandex and carrying Raine, dressed up like Lois Lane, popped into her head.  

She started laughing all over again and he waited patiently for her to regain control. She stopped laughing, started a few giggles then cleared her throat, wiped at her eyes and schooled her features.

"Sorry. You as Lois Lane. I can picture it." she gave a slight giggle. "Anyway, I just can't believe you would fall for that!"

Raine shrugged. "What could I say, he was my hero." The coffee machine stopped percolating. He got up, grabbed two mugs and filled them. "Cream? Sugar?"

While making the coffee's to their individual tastes he explained.

"Turns out he had watched "The Green Lantern" like 100 times before coming to the Comic-con. And he was only coming to the it to meet me. The Green Lantern was his favorite superhero as a kid, and meeting the actor who played him was gunna... blow his mind or something."

Raine shrugged again and set down the coffees.

"Did it?" She asked. "Did meeting you blow his mind?"

 

"Did it seem like his mind was blown when you met him?" he countered then laughed. "He was really confident when he pulled his rescue act but Adrian, the one who had been in the alien costume, told me he had gaped at me for like 20 minutes before he got up the nerve to start his plan rolling."

 

"Alien? The greenish-grey one. Yes. Oh, I thought you said Xander went as an alien?" she said, blowing on her coffee.

He looked at her, surprised. "Um, Falia. You do know Superman is an alien, right?"

Idiot! "Oh! Oh, yes, I knew that. I just wasn’t thinking. The whole 'his planet blew up and his parents sent their baby to earth' thing. I was just thinking more of a Jabba the Hutt alien, not a superhero alien."

She blushed, feeling foolish. "Mind if we change the subject? I feel like an idiot now."

"You're not an idiot. It was just a very long day. But sure, we can change the subject."

"How old is your assistant's daughter?"

They made a few minutes of small talk while they finished their coffees then Falia took her leave.

"Good night. Tell Xander I want dinner with you guys one night." She smiled, maybe she could get them to throw another Christmas party. 

"I'll tell him." He gave her a small kiss on the cheek. "He's just busy. You know, saving the world and all."

She laughed again and waved before exiting. He closed the door behind her and sighed.

Explaining Xander, always fun. He washed their mugs in the sink.

 

He had braided his hair and was just about to  undress for bed when his trailer rocked slightly. He smiled and turned around.

Xander was standing in the middle of the dining room. "Hello, Raine."

No cape, no latex suit, just jeans and a t-shirt. Compeletly normal.

Raine walked over and kissed him. "You were careful before you landed? No one saw you did they? I was just finishing telling Falia how we met."

"Oh, really?" Xander grinned, brilliant white teeth flashing. "What story did you use?"

"The Superman one. It's my favorite." He brought his arm up to duel his invisable foe for a few seconds, then dropped his arm. 

Xander frowned. "And way too close to the truth. What if you get people considering that idea? What then? It's not like I can go back. I really wish you would use the 'I was fishing and fell in and Xander dived in after me."

"Also to close too the truth. You just snatched me out of the water before I even realized I had fallen in. One second fishing, next second being held by some strange guy and flying. I thought you were abducting me!"

"Well, you don't have to mention that part of the story, now do you?" Xander asked paitently. "Plus, I did abduct you. And you enjoyed every moment of it, if I do recall." 

 

Raine ignored the last part of Xander's statement. "You know us humans, the more times we hear a tall-tale, the less we believe it." he said.

"The boy who cried wolf?"

"The boy who cried Superman."

Xander laughed, the deep sound echoing throughout the trailer. "But I'm not exactly Superman.

 

"Close enough. Nevermind that. Planning on abducting me again anytime soon?" He looked at Xander hopefully.  

Xander laughed again, softer this time. He gently picked up and kissed his human.

"Your wish is my command, Beloved." Holding Raine close, Xander jumped upward, phasing through the metal roof of the trailer and up into the night sky. He flew higher and higher, his beloved laughing in his arms.

 

The End. 

 

 

 

The End

 

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